pelo mundo

Mephistopheles Is Just Beneath

By: Kyle_Sanchez
Mood: ---------------
Date: 10/10/2007 22:59:24
Music: Videotape by Radiohead

I've had a wonderful day.

I ate lunch with my 88 year old grandma, who prepared an excellent feast of rice with meatballs. Lunch with grannie is always interesting because she always like to flirt with me, and she does a damn good job of it too. Always giving me specially prepared pineapple slices with a cute toothless smile that would melt an ice berg. Even at her age she still maintains her own house and prepares large lunches a few times a week for a bunch of her friends in her church. And she is still a halfway decent driver, and she knows her limits so is smart enough to stick to small, familiar roads to avoid possible accidents.

Had a talk with Dad on how I can help him by doing some estimates at some warehouses. My Dad owns and operates a used shelving business, and hes always trying to get me to come in, not so much to help, but just to talk and hang out. Hes going on seventy-three right now and has been working six days a week with no vacations since he was fourteen. Needless to say our styles are complete opposites, I sit back and let my money work for me while I skip by in life, while he has always been of the philosophy to work work work. I love spending time with him because he is still bursting full of energy and always has a good OJ Simpson, Aggie, or blonde joke to share.

Then I went to hang out with the Type 4 crew. We got managed to do a booster draft with the Type 4 stack along with several games. My deck was insane and I won two of the three games we played by drawing a ton of cards and controlling the pace of the game the entire way.

Still, as I sit here now I feel nothing, which has been an increasingly difficult problem for me recently.

I don't feel anything.

I never get excited, angry, worried, sad, anxious, joyful, or even content. I just feel like a void of nothing. A slow and steady beat thats drowning out the lyrics.

I think a large contributing factor to this is I don't really have any stress in my life. All my relationships, whether they be with the opposite sex or friends I keep stress free by either catering to their needs, or just forgetting about them entirely.

I don't have school to go to, and my "job" is really more of a work at your own pace kind of thing. I've always hated the 9-5 lifestyle, mostly because I've seen my father get destroyed by it. Even as a well-of business owner he stays strong with the work work work attitude. Whenever I want money I'll work a bit, otherwise I'll just sit back at relax on the cash I already have. I'm pretty lucky to be "financially stable" at my young age, but I haven't really tried for it. It really just fell into my lap.

My real issue is that I can't see myself making any drastic changes to stop this void behavior, and the truth is its always easier to talk to a keyboard than to someone real. Well, thats not exactly true, but I've never been the person to ask for help. I've always been the one people talk to oddly enough, and I wouldn't know how to approach it.

One of the lasting impressions I've had this year in Magic was at Nationals in Baltimore. I was hanging out with Ioli, espo, Gadiel, Goodman, and Tormos practically the whole weekend. At the beginning of the weekend Ioli separated from the group and stayed in the lobby while we all went up stairs to drop our bags off. When we came back down Ioli was having a conversation with some random guy on vacation with his wife and child.

This struck me as odd, but the next part was one that has really influenced me for some reason.

I asked him how the conversation started, and he said he asked him one question:

"Excuse me sir, what is the one piece of advice you wished you had known when you were my age?"

It completely blew me away. It was so brilliant. So brilliant in fact I've been meaning to ask many people that question in the passing months, but I just haven't got around to it.